The irony of death and taxes

It dawned on me recently, during one of my frequent contemplations of suicide, that there is an ironic link to the big picture of life (being the understanding of the inevitable ending and the lack of philosophical reason for the rigmarole that ensues and fills) and the responsibility that big picture thought processes produce...meaning that in the grand scope of things, my killing myself produces very little ripple effect in real life, but if I follow the logic of my faith out to it's legitimate end, my life is not my own, so therein suicide becomes the swansong of my hypocrisy, or my poor understanding of theology in general...neither is palatable, which concludes in the strange statement that death to self has very little in common with suicide...Ironic yeah?